Avodah Mailing List

Volume 04 : Number 136

Tuesday, November 16 1999

< Previous Next >
Subjects Discussed In This Issue:
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 14:56:34 PST
From: "Alan Davidson" <perzvi@hotmail.com>
Subject:
Lubavitch


for the information of folks on the list, within official Lubavitch (the 
sanctioned yeshivos, the sanctioned sheluchim, and the rabbinical arms of 
the movement) the messianic status of the Lubavitcher Rebbe is  a non-issue 
at best -- and those with Yechi Yarmulkes and Yechi Melech HaMoshiach 
Borsalinos are taken about as seriously as Kippa Serugims would be at a 
Agudath Isroel convention.  The real danger, in my opinion are those who run 
around arguing that the Rebbe is concealing himself and will reveal himself 
without the aibishter's permisssion -- which is hardly a large percentage of 
the movement.

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com


Go to top.

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 15:04:28 -0800 (PST)
From: harry maryles <hmaryles@yahoo.com>
Subject:
Re: Lubavitch


--- Alan Davidson <perzvi@hotmail.com> wrote:
> for the information of folks on the list, within
> official Lubavitch (the 
> sanctioned yeshivos, the sanctioned sheluchim, and
> the rabbinical arms of 
> the movement) the messianic status of the
> Lubavitcher Rebbe is  a non-issue 
> at best -- and those with Yechi Yarmulkes and Yechi
> Melech HaMoshiach 
> Borsalinos are taken about as seriously as Kippa
> Serugims would be at a 
> Agudath Isroel convention.  The real danger, in my
> opinion are those who run 
> around arguing that the Rebbe is concealing himself
> and will reveal himself 
> without the aibishter's permisssion -- which is
> hardly a large percentage of 
> the movement.


How do you explain what is going on in 770?

HM

=====

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com


Go to top.

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 18:08:03 EST
From: Joelirich@aol.com
Subject:
re:woman's roles


I came across the following quote from the Akedat Yitzchak in Nechama 
Leibowitz's New Studies in Bereshit. While I found it somewhat 
counterintuitive, I thought it worth repeating in the context of our previous 
discussions.

"The two names 'woman' (isha) and 'Eve' indicate two purposes.  The first 
teaches that woman was taken from man, stressing that like him you may 
understand and advance in the intellectual and moral field just as did the 
matriarchs and many righteous women and prophetesses and as the literal 
meaning of Proverbs 31 about 'the woman of worth (eshet chayil) indicates.  
The second indicated by the name Eve - the mother of all living. A woman 
deprived of the power of childbearing and rearing children will be deprived 
of the secondary purpose and be left with the ability to do evil and good 
like the man who is barren.

Kol Tuv
Joel Rich


Go to top.

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 19:55:42 -0500
From: Gershon Dubin <gershon.dubin@juno.com>
Subject:
top ten


From: gil.student@citicorp.com
Subject: Re: Top Ten List

Rather than R. Aharon Kotler I would include R. Nosson Tzvi Finkel (the 
Alter of Slobodka) whose close students were responsible for much of the 
Torah growth in America.

	Without saying which I would delete,  I would definitely include R'
Shraga Feivel Mendelovitz.  What would Torah in America look like without
Torah Umesorah?

Gershon


Go to top.

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 19:58:34 -0500
From: Gershon Dubin <gershon.dubin@juno.com>
Subject:
Yitzchok


From: "Markowitz, Chaim" <CMarkowitz@scor.com>
Subject: Yitzchak revisted

<<role of Yitzchak. Yitzchak represented the idea of complete service to
Hakodosh Baruch Hu. The  idea of Avodah in the Beis hamikdash is that we
are offering korbanos to Hashem in place of ourselves. Yitzchak-who
himself was brought as a korbon personifies this characterisitic. This is
also why Yitzchak is perceived as Middas Hadin. >>

	I'm not sure I understand this.  I believe the Ramban is the one who
points out that Korbonos are always mentioned with the Shem Havaya which
signifies Rachamim.  Tefilo,  which substitutes for Korbonos,  is called
Rachamim in the Gemara.  Please explain.

Gershon


Go to top.

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 20:03:08 -0500
From: Gershon Dubin <gershon.dubin@juno.com>
Subject:
Bechora


From: "Daniel B. Schwartz" <SCHWARTZESQ@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject: Birthrights and their value 

<<As I was following the leining this past Shabbat I was troubled by the
sale of Esau's birthright to Jacob.  The Torah points out that Esau
"spurned" or "descrated" his birthright.  I have two questions about
this:>>

	One of the meforshim explains that there was a bona fide sale.  If you
read the pesukim,  it says that Esav sold the bechora,  then it says that
Yaakov  *gave*  Esav bread and soup.   The diyuk is that this was the
reason for the sale,  not the price.

<<2.    Why is the desecration of the birthright ascribed only to Esau,
who
sold it for a pittance?  After all, the text does not say that Jacob had
previously offered to purchase it.  Why is Jacob not culpable for
offering
so very little for the birthright?>>

	Should he have been negotiating the price upwards?

Gershon


Go to top.

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 20:47:08 -0700 (MST)
From: Daniel Israel <daniel@pluto.ame.arizona.edu>
Subject:
Birthrights and their value


In response to Daniel Schwartz's questions:
1. It isn't so clear that Yitzchak was rich (Ibn Ezra).

2. The sequence of p'sukim suggest that he spurned it after the sale.
The pasuk could refer to his rationalizing afterwards that the
brithright was worthless (Sforno).  IIRC, Rav Henoch Leibowitz learns
from here that a person who does such a thing can't live with it without
rationalizing to himself.

-- 
Daniel M. Israel
<daniel@cfd.ame.arizona.edu>
University of Arizona
Tucson, AZ


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 01:02:30 EST
From: Kenneth G Miller <kennethgmiller@juno.com>
Subject:
Re: Tzelem Elokim


Gil Student wrote: <<< Is it so difficult to say that there could be
people without a tzelem Elokim who are also assistants?  I believe that
the Rambam writes in the Moreh Nevuchim (1:7) that, at least during the
time of Adam HaRishon, there were people who did not have a tzelem
Elokim. >>>

This is an interesting Rambam, but I think it fails to demonstrate the
point.

Bereshis 5:3 goes out of its way to say that Adam's son Sheis was born in
Adam's image. The above-mentioned Rambam concludes that Adam had other
sons who were *not* in his image. R' Student makes a reasonable kal
vachomer to say that if those other sons were not in Adam's image then
they weren't in HaShem's image either.

The trouble with that argument is that *we* are all descended from Sheis,
who *was* in Adam's image!

Even an executed criminal looks like Hashem. (Rashi, Devarim 21:23,
"d'mus dikyono") Are there any sources which suggest (more clearly than
the above-cited Rambam) that there might be humans, b'nei Adam, among us
who lack Tzelem Elokim?

Akiva Miller

___________________________________________________________________
Get the Internet just the way you want it.
Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month!
Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj.


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 01:02:30 EST
From: Kenneth G Miller <kennethgmiller@juno.com>
Subject:
Re: Birthrights and their value


Daniel Schwartz, Esq, (is there a title to put *prior* to a lawyer's
name? would "Counselor" be right?) asked:

<<< Why is Jacob not culpable for offering so very little for the
birthright?  Indeed, the text clearly states that Jacob set the price for
his pot his stew.  The great disparity in value between the consideration
and commodity makes it hard to imagine that Jacob merely drove an
advantageous bargain. >>>

I vaguely recall that if something does not have a generally accepted
market value, than the laws about overcharging (and undercharging) do not
apply. I think R' Schwartz is suggesting that perhaps this birthright
would be an exception to that rule, since any average person would surely
agree that the price-to-value ratio was so low that Esav should have the
right to nullify the sale.

I would agree that the birthright does not have an accepted market value,
but that is not merely because it is a one-of-a-kind item. Another reason
is that Yitzchak is not yet dead. Whatever value the birthright has is a
purely *speculative* one, based on guesses about what the estate will be
worth when is passes to these heirs. Despite Yaakov's trust in HaShem's
plan for the family, the average person living in those days would have
allowed for the possiblity that the estate could lose much or all of its
value in the coming years. And Esav is literally on record as admitting
to its worthlessness, and so he is left with no recourse to his foolish
deal.

Akiva Miller

___________________________________________________________________
Get the Internet just the way you want it.
Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month!
Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj.


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 10:15:12 +0200 (IST)
From: Eli Turkel <turkel@math.tau.ac.il>
Subject:
kol kavodah


Chana writes

> 
> What I am surprised about that nobody in this discussion on kol kavuda
> has cited the Rambam in hilchos Ishus perek 13 halacha 11 (so I guess I
> should do so) -
> 
> "... but it is a gnai for a woman that she should be going always
> outside and in the streets.  And there is to her husband to prevent his
> wife from this and not let her go out except for once a month or twice a
> month according to the need. As the beauty of a woman isn't except to
> sit in the corner of her house because such it is written "kol kavuda
> bas melech penima".
> 
> The reality is that there the Rambam does read the "kol" in the way that
> Micha was, with the conclusion as set out above.
> 
> To divert from Jewish tradition - this is very much the position taken
> by certain Muslim groups.  The Taliban, of course, have required all
> women in Afganistan to stay at home.  In Pakistan, there is a group of
> families who pride themselves on being descended from "the prophet",
> and, while they do not expect this behaviour from commoners, their women
> are born, live and die within the walls of their house compounds- this
> being considered a form of honour for the family, breach of which would
> bring the entire family into disgrace.  Whether they base themselves on
> Tanach, I do not know, but you can see a logical derivation from "all
> the glory of the king's daughter is only within the palace" - if you are
> families of nobility, this is what is expected of your daughters.
> 
On the other hand I understand that Eygpt at the time of Rambam was more
liberal. Also there are teshuvot about women who worked and so Rambam's psak
was never meant to be taken literally.

Eli Turkel


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 00:57:20 -0800 (PST)
From: ben waxman <benwaxman55@yahoo.com>
Subject:
can anyone verify this article?


this tidbit was in the British Jewish Chronicle.  Can
anyone verify it?
http://www.jchron.co.uk/JCdat/current/TW/front_main9.stm

  From Joseph Millis, Jerusalem

  The strictly Orthodox charedi Beth Din of Jerusalem
  ruled this week that women cannot to use mobile
  phones in public, for fear that it might lead to
  prostitution.

  "Women are forbidden to use cellular phones in
public
  or on the bus, for fear of prostitution and
immodesty,"
  said the ruling, which was distributed in the city’s
  strictly Orthodox neighbourhoods.

  Rabbi Yisrael Moshe Dushinsky, one of the most
  influential dayanim in the community, signed the
order.

  The ruling shocked the leading Israeli women’s
  lobbyist, Professor Alice Shalvi. 

  "I am saddened that in the guise of an halachic
ruling,
  charedi women’s freedom will be limited for supposed
  modesty reasons," she said. "This way they are being
  returned to the dark days of medieval times. I am
sure
  that other Orthodox rabbis will see this ruling as
  rubbish."


=====

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 12:57:15 +0200 (IST)
From: Jerry Schachter <schachte@netvision.net.il>
Subject:
Re: "Kol Kavodah . . . "


Sorry for this throw in from left field; many of us are ignoring what our
moderator has said about some of us who are quick to post without the
sources at hand, but seeing this posuk misquoted, mistranslated (and
misunderstood?) so many times is hard for me to take. The posuk appears in
Tehillim 45:14 and reads: "Kol-k'vudah bas-melech pnima". The word "k'vudah"
means "fortune" according to some parshanim (in modern Hebrew this has come
to mean "baggage"), and "splendor" or "grace" according to others - not "honor".

This occurs with other well-worn p'sukim as well; may we please remember
that we're dealing with Torah she-bi'Chtav and accord it the proper honor?


Yaakov Schachter


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 10:19:20 -0500
From: gil.student@citicorp.com
Subject:
Re: Tzelem Elokim


My original question was:

>>Is it possible to say that they have a tzelem E-lokim which is hidden 
and/or incapacitated.  This seems a more humane answer but does it make 
sense?  Anyone have thoughts or sources on this?>>

After some more thought I think that the simple answer is that there is a 
distinction between the intellect and intelligence.  I can't define 
intellect (and would appreciate someone posting a good definition) but I 
think it refers more to an intellectual structure than to actual 
intelligence.  Therefore, even someone who is incapable of intelligent 
thought (not necessarily those with Downs Syndrome - that was only the 
starting point of this discussion) can still have an intellect i.e. a 
tzelem Elokim according to the Rambam (M"N 1:1).  Does that make sense or 
did I totally abuse philosophical terms whose definitions I don't 
understand?


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 10:24:33 EST
From: DAHLIA2@aol.com
Subject:
bat melech


Chana Luntz wrote:


 > tznius behaviour is, to a certain extent, dictated to by our surrounding
 > society. Thus when living in a Muslim society in which it is a gnai for
 > a woman to go outside, and a disgrace on her husband - the Jewish people
 > will also be shamed in Muslim eyes if Jewish women do not do likewise
 > and stay within.

Sidestepping the issue of whether it a Jewish woman ought to follow these norms, I need to add a confirmatory tidbit here: my grandmother, who lived in Morocco, always tells me that she was known as a "serious girl" and therefore a good shidduch when the time came, because "I did not go out into the street." I never fully realized what she meant by that until I travelled to Morocco recently and learned that Muslim women, at least then, typically do not go about in public. Clearly, my grandmother did walk in the street if she had to go somewhere, but what I think she means is that she didn't "hang out," in modern parlance. As a related point, Moroccan men typically did the grocery shopping, perhaps because of this restriction.
kol tuv,
Brigitte Dayan


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 10:01:33 -0500
From: "Daniel B. Schwartz" <SCHWARTZESQ@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject:
Re: Bechora


DANIEL B. SCHWARTZ, ESQ. SPECIALIZING IN ALL ASPECTS
OF MATRIMONIAL, FAMILY AND COMMERCIAL LITIGATION FOR
FURTHER INFORMATION INQUIRE AT:
SCHWARTZESQ@WORLDNET.ATT.NET
----- Original Message -----
From: Gershon Dubin <gershon.dubin@juno.com>
To: <avodah@aishdas.org>
Sent: Monday, November 15, 1999 8:03 PM
Subject: Bechora


> From: "Daniel B. Schwartz" <SCHWARTZESQ@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
> Subject: Birthrights and their value
>
> <<As I was following the leining this past Shabbat I was troubled by the
> sale of Esau's birthright to Jacob.  The Torah points out that Esau
> "spurned" or "descrated" his birthright.  I have two questions about
> this:>>
>
> One of the meforshim explains that there was a bona fide sale.  If you
> read the pesukim,  it says that Esav sold the bechora,  then it says that
> Yaakov  *gave*  Esav bread and soup.   The diyuk is that this was the
> reason for the sale,  not the price.

    Precisely what then was the consideration for the birthright?  Also how
do those exegetes reconcile their view with Esau's anguished cry of
"vayakveini zeh pa'amaiim?"

>
> <<2.    Why is the desecration of the birthright ascribed only to Esau,
> who
> sold it for a pittance?  After all, the text does not say that Jacob had
> previously offered to purchase it.  Why is Jacob not culpable for
> offering
> so very little for the birthright?>>
>
> Should he have been negotiating the price upwards?

    Perhaps he should have made an initial offer more in tune with the value
of the bechora.  The fact that he did not, raises a question of exactly who
desecrated what.
>
> Gershon
>


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 10:14:23 -0500
From: "Daniel B. Schwartz" <SCHWARTZESQ@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject:
Re: Birthrights and their value


DANIEL B. SCHWARTZ, ESQ. SPECIALIZING IN ALL ASPECTS
OF MATRIMONIAL, FAMILY AND COMMERCIAL LITIGATION FOR
FURTHER INFORMATION INQUIRE AT:
SCHWARTZESQ@WORLDNET.ATT.NET
----- Original Message -----
From: Kenneth G Miller <kennethgmiller@juno.com>
To: <avodah@aishdas.org>
Sent: Tuesday, November 16, 1999 1:02 AM
Subject: Re: Birthrights and their value


> Daniel Schwartz, Esq, (is there a title to put *prior* to a lawyer's
> name? would "Counselor" be right?) asked:

    Daniel will do.  As an aside in Springfield MA, where I am the part time
chazan, they have the practice of refrering to lawyers as "Attornet so and
so;" a practice I have yet to see elsewhere.

>
> <<< Why is Jacob not culpable for offering so very little for the
> birthright?  Indeed, the text clearly states that Jacob set the price for
> his pot his stew.  The great disparity in value between the consideration
> and commodity makes it hard to imagine that Jacob merely drove an
> advantageous bargain. >>>
>
> I vaguely recall that if something does not have a generally accepted
> market value, than the laws about overcharging (and undercharging) do not
> apply. I think R' Schwartz is suggesting that perhaps this birthright
> would be an exception to that rule, since any average person would surely
> agree that the price-to-value ratio was so low that Esav should have the
> right to nullify the sale.
>
> I would agree that the birthright does not have an accepted market value,
> but that is not merely because it is a one-of-a-kind item.
    But many one of a kind items attain an accepted marker value.  That's
why we have auctions.  When an artistic masterpiece (also a one of a kind
item) sellls for many millions of dollars at auction, I believe that a
market value is set.  Should it's value rise (i.e. it sells for more at a
lter auction) or fall (it sells for less at a later time), there is a market
value ascribed to it.  Remember a basic rule of capatilism is that
everything has a price.

Another reason
> is that Yitzchak is not yet dead. Whatever value the birthright has is a
> purely *speculative* one, based on guesses about what the estate will be
> worth when is passes to these heirs. Despite Yaakov's trust in HaShem's
> plan for the family, the average person living in those days would have
> allowed for the possiblity that the estate could lose much or all of its
> value in the coming years.

    The asset in question can be present valued.  The contingencies you list
can be factored in to that process.

 And Esav is literally on record as admitting
> to its worthlessness, and so he is left with no recourse to his foolish
> deal.

    Or perhaps, Esav is the one born every minute?
>
> Akiva Miller
>
> ___________________________________________________________________
> Get the Internet just the way you want it.
> Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month!
> Try Juno Web: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj.


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 12:31:21 -0500
From: Michael.Frankel@dtra.mil
Subject:
Re: Trig - a waste of time?


Re RAbeles' friend's further remark:
<Trig can also be used. The angle between the horizontal radius and the
line..>
quite right. touche.


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 12:48:40 -0500
From: j e rosenbaum <jerosenb@hcs.harvard.edu>
Subject:
Re: Avodah V4 #124


 
> But at our table it's singing. Each guest has to name a favorite zemer and
> teach me the tune. Unfortunately, yes, this does leave the women out, and
> I've yet to find a solution to that. Suggestions welcome as to how to
> include them.

have the women say a dvar torah, of course.  

janet


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 09:51:37 -0800
From: "Newman,Saul Z" <Saul.Z.Newman@kp.org>
Subject:
chabad messianic minyan [mail jewish 30-11]


please see the above mail jewish reference for rav elyashiv's opinion on the
above topic


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 13:48:35 -0500
From: j e rosenbaum <jerosenb@hcs.harvard.edu>
Subject:
Re: Ha-aretz article on Hillel


On Fri, Nov 12, 1999 at 12:20:11AM +0200, millerr@mail.biu.ac.il wrote:
> Does anyone know where I can get a copy of the "daat v'emet" booklet
> mentioned in the Ha-aretz article?
 
I don't know, but I did a websearch and found the URL for Hillel.  They
don't mention the booklet:
http://www.hillel.org.il/about_y.html

I also found the site for rejewvination (bringing back ffb who left).  
The sad thing about these stories --- on both sites --- is that they're 
either specific to specific family circumstances or result from people
being surprised at reading, say, Reform Torah commentary on the sly.  
It sounds like most of them just make a clean break out of frustration 
rather than trying to work things out.  It's understandable that they 
would feel uneasy about approaching their rabbis and expressing doubts 
about beliefs and life patterns which everyone else takes for granted, 
but it doesn't make it any less sad that they don't see any alternative
other than just up and leaving.  

Janet


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 15:38:16 -0500 (EST)
From: micha@aishdas.org (Micha Berger)
Subject:
Shomer Mitzvot Adoption List (fwd)


I was asked to forward to you the following announcement.

Needless to say to those who have read me in the past, I'm thrilled with the
idea.

-mi

-- 
Micha Berger (973) 916-0287          MMG"H for 16-Nov-99: Shelishi, Vayetzei
micha@aishdas.org                                         A"H 
http://www.aishdas.org                                    Pisachim 69b
For a mitzvah is a lamp, and the Torah its light.         

SMAL, the shomer mitzvot adoption list, is an email discussion group of
traditionally observant adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, and
others who want to discuss issues related to adopting children into
Orthodox Jewish families.

The topics that get discussed range from the adoption process itself to
halachic conversions to helping older adopted children adjust to their new
lives.  The list provides a supportive forum for parents to ask the advice
of others who have been there before them. It differs from other adoption
discussion lists in placing a special emphasis on the issues faced by
observant families.

If you or anyone else you know would like to subscribe to SMAL, please send
an email to:

     smal-subscribe@sherut.co.il

with

     subscribe smal [your email address] [your full name]

in the body of the message, e.g.

     subscribe smal ploni@mail.com David Ploni

Please feel free to pass this information on to anyone you think would be
interested in participating, but please do not post this notice to any other
mailing list, discussion group, or web site without checking with the
listowners first.

For any questions about how this list works or to request a copy of the
welcome message that details how the list functions, you can get more
information by writing to the listowners at smal-admin@sherut.co.il


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 28 Aug 1956 20:42:40 +0000
From: David Riceman <driceman@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject:
purity and smells


1.  My shul is contemplating a siyum mishnaioth, and I (was) volunteered
for massecheth Tohoroth.  I was planning to use Rabbi Lichtenstein's
notes (Shiurei HRAL) for the first half.  Does anyone have any
suggestions for the second half? Has anyone attempted to replicate the
unpublished/lost work of the Radziner Rebbe?

2.  My impression is that smells were common in Jewish practice (and not
only in the Beith HaMikdash) before the churban habayith.  My experience
is that they are marginal today.  Any coherent explanation? I don't
recall that any minhagei aveiluth related to the churban have to do with
abstinence from smells.

David Riceman


Go to top.

Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 16:00:56 -0500 (EST)
From: micha@aishdas.org (Micha Berger)
Subject:
Simplicity


This is the first of three articles from the Jewish Observer that I'm
forwarding to the list. Yes, the JO gave permission. Thanks to Gershon
Dubin and David Nadoff for getting us an Avodah-usable version of the
texts.

-mi

THE TIME FOR TIKKUN HAS COME. ARE WE READY?
Aaron Twerski
(Dr. Twerski is a professor of law in Brooklyn Law School and serves as
chairman of Agudath Israel of America's Commission on Legislation and Civic
Action. He is a frequent contributor to these pages. The above article is based
on an address at the recent National Convention of Agudath Israel of America.)

The crown jewel of our Torah existence-the family-is undergoing serious
stress. The tensions need to be identified and steps have to be taken to
reduce them to manageable levels. It is time for serious introspection.

CONFLICT, CRISIS AND CONFUSION

0ur charge is to determine how the Jew can serve as a vehicle for K'vod
Shamayim, i.e. how our daily lives can enhance respect for G-d and His
Torah. It is often instructive to understand a concept from its negation. The
clearest and most manifest expression of chillul k'vod Shamayim arises when
Jews worship idols. Of such magnitude is the sin that a Jew is required to
sacrifice his life rather than commit idolatry even under coercion. When the
Jewish nation first sought to violate this cardinal sin with the creation
of the Golden Calf, the Torah relates that they "gathered onto Aaron and
they said to him,'Come let us make for us gods that will lead us"' (Shemos
32,1). Rashi notes that the Talmud was struck by the term "yeilchu lefaneinu"
(lit. they will lead us). The Hebrew word "yeilchu" is plural. The request
should have been for a singular god that would replace Moshe Rabbeinu. The
Talmud explains that the Jews sought not one, but many gods: "Elohus harbei
evu lohem. "

Why a multiplicity of gods? Upon reflection, one can discern a profound lesson
about Jews: We either worship one G-d and fulfill His will, or we are pulled
in a multiplicity of directions. One source of idolatry will not suffice.

The lesson is clear. When we suffer pizur hanefesh, when we are torn in many
different directions, it is a sign of deep and serious trouble. A Torah Jew's
life must be focused. It must reflect the unity that inheres in the service
of One G-d. When we sense that we owe allegiance to a multiplicity of goals,
it is time to step back and ask ourselves: are we still loyal to Hashem and
His Torah or do our conflicted lives give evidence of a deep internal division
that is inconsistent with the basic tenets of our faith? My own sense is that
we are the most stressed-out generation of American Jews in recent memory.
Internal stress, conflict and confusion of purpose have become staples of
our daily existence. It has begun taking a serious toll on our mental health
and that of our children.

I cannot claim to have conducted a scientific inquiry but anecdotal evidence
provides more than a little support for my thesis. For example, discussions
with those knowledgeable about the sale and dispensing of pharmaceuticals
in areas of heavy frum population concentration in New York reveal that
prescriptions for tranquilizers, anti-depressants and a whole range of
soporifics are higher than they should be. Psychologists, mental health
therapists and social workers confirm this observation. It is not that
these drugs are being needlessly dispensed; rather the need for them has
escalated. Perhaps even more disturbing are the observations of professional
educators. I have heard from several principals and menahalim, as well as
a random selection of rebbes and teachers. They all perceive a decline in
performance of entering classes in the past several years. They find more
children that are distracted and not able to focus as well as compared
to previous years. In some schools, gross academic benchmarks confirm the
learned intuition of the professionals. Most of these sources admit to being
genuinely puzzled as to why the changes are occurring, but there is little
disagreement that something is amiss.

I am neither a sociologist nor psychologist. My analysis need be taken with
a grain of salt. I would be remiss, however, if I did not share with you
insights gained from discussions over the past several years with a broad
range of people from all spectra of the Torah community.

THOSE WHO MAKE IT, THOSE WHO DON'T, AND THOSE WHO MAKE IT AND DON'T

Earning a livelihood has been the topic of considerable discussion and
concern to us. It is not merely a societal problem that is tangential to
living in a Torah community. The mounting costs of yeshiva education for large
families present awesome and often crushing burdens on parents. Concomitantly,
inadequate salaries for mechanchim and burgeoning class size compromise the
ability of teachers to teach with peace of mind and the potential of children
to learn in an atmosphere where they are not lost in the crowd.

A sophisticated readership does not need to be told that these are not merely
a desideraturn which can be wished away. They are matters the Shulchan Aruch
addresses. They are tied to inexorable halachic imperatives. How does our
community cope with these responsibilities? For the sake of simplicity, I
will break down our community into three groups. Each is faced with stress
that takes its special toll in a Torah-centered community. The wealthy or the
"haves," for the most part, meet their financial obligations to family and
community with relative ease. Our community, however, has almost no old-line
families of wealth.

We are a post-holocaust community. We have no analogues to the
Rothschilds, Fords or Kennedys. Our wealth is mostly first- and at best
second-generational. It is heavily entrepreneurial. It is thin, fragile and
tenuous. There is little margin for comfort.

A second category of well-to-do are professionals who have been highly
successful. Once again, these are self-made persons whose income is almost
solely dependent on their outstanding individual skills and continuing
performance, which is highly demanding both intellectually and emotionally.

Our "haves" are for the most part extremely stressed out. They keep long and
grueling hours at work. When they return home, they cannot shuck their worries
and responsibilities and park them at the door. The tension level in the
home is often extraordinary. Faced with large families and community demands
on their time, many of them do not cope well. What passes for communication
with children is often polite banter but no real talk. The family is often
an unwelcome distraction from what has become an all-consuming involvement
with business and profession. Their personal commitments to Torah learning
and spiritual growth are sorely tested, and they find themselves

torn between unyielding demands on their time and energy. It is little
wonder that they swallow tranquilizers and that their children appear more
distracted and unfocused then yesteryear.

Even more distressing is the lot of our so called "middle class." I have dubbed
this group as "Those That Make It and Don't. " This hard-working middle class
may be earning anywhere between $50,000-$85,000 per year (either single or
two-income earners). With large families and multiple tuitions, however,
these families are choking. They may be in the top 10% of American wage
earners. Bill Clinton may think they are doing well, but the reality is that
the financial pressures are almost unbearable. As the children become older,
each family begins facing the day when they will begin marrying off their
children. And they often do not have the foggiest notion of how they are
going to manage the expenses of a chasuna, matanos, let alone the desire and
need to help the children in the early years of kollel life. They can barely
make it through the month-without facing extraordinary expenses. Something
has to give, and it does. The tensions of debt, feelings of inadequacy,
and social pressures to earn more and work yet harder take their toll.

Recently, a father who fits the above paradigm was chatting with me. He said,
"Please, donÆt take this the wrong way. But, you know, I have days when I'm
envious of my Italian neighbor who earns $500 per week. He comes home to
his 1.8 children and his wife, and he is a hero. The children attend public
school. He lives modestly, and he fulfills all his oblig- ations to society. I
earn three times that and I'm a bum. I'm a bum for the tuition committee,
an inadequate wage earner for my wife and children, and am slightly above
the status of a schnorrer in the community. And now when I think of marrying
off my children in the next ten years-I have nothing but nightmares."

It will not surprise you to learn that this fine ben Torah is
on anti-depressants and tranquilizers. He has richly earned the right to
them. And if the younger children of such folk begin demonstrating diminished
performance in school, it is no mystery as to why.

Finally, we have those who do not make it. They are at least spared the
agony of unrealizable expectations. Unless they have some special status in
the community as that of an outstanding talmid chacharn, however, they face
the ignominy of poverty. The simple truth is that we are wont to place the
"have-nots" in the schlemazel category. Stratification based on wealth
is pernicious and sinful. It is totally foreign to Torah values. But I
have heard all too many times about one or another that ehr iz nisht kein
balabatisher yunger rnaan. Badges of shame are not worn without cost. They
too contribute to the never-ending cycle of depression and feelings of
worthlessness. Children whose pride as members of a family so tarnished
cannot always be expected to easily don the requisite pride so necessary to
a healthy ego and to strong scholastic performance.

It is not my intent to proclaim that we live in a state of disaster. The
values and beauty of Torah homes provide a multitude of strengths to deal
with these problems. We have a deep heritage for survival under adversity
and it serves us well. If we seek to ameliorate and correct problems,
however, they must be sharply stated. Overstatement is not warranted, but
understatement would lull us into inaction. And act we must.

THE SOCIAL CALENDAR

If our mental diversion and inattention at home were not sufficient, we have
an added dimension that impacts upon our family life. We are all too often
physically absent from home. Our social calendars have become so crowded that
we have come to dread our social obligations. Several weeks ago, I attended a
funeral, röl one morning. A relative whom I encountered told me that after the
funeral he had to attend a bris, to be followed on the same day by a Tannayim,
a wedding and a Sheva Berachos. Although this is unusual for one day, it is
not unusual at all to be booked solid night after night for weddings, bar
mitzvas, engagements, parlor meetings, PTAs, tzeddaka parties, lectures etc.

A principal of a fine yeshiva recently told me that the two months of the
year that are the most tense for students are the very months when parents
are absent from home almost every night. January and June are examination
months. They are also the prime wedding season. For many of us, however,
the phenomenon is not limited to two months of the year. It has become a
staple of our lives. We are just way too busy and distracted, There is too
much electricity coming over the wires. If we are not careful, we shall
give birth to a new generation of latchkey children. Parents will be home
for them when they come home. But, if parents must leave night after night
to fulfill social obligations, the children will be sorely neglected. The
constant tension of having to leave by a certain time, dressing for the event,
rushing homework and supper, all exact real costs.

We need more quiet in our lives. We need it for ourselves and we need it for
our children. We need to be at home both physically and mentally more, a lot
more, than we are at present. Are there practical steps that can be taken
to reduce the psychic drain that has become the bane of our existence? To
this challenging question I now turn our attention.

SOME MODEST AND NOT-SO-MODEST PROPOSALS FOR CHANGE

Before offering any suggestions for reducing the tension, a disclaimer is in
order. My proposals will not deal with the issues of parnassa in general or
the problems of increasing the earning power of members of our community. That
is a topic worthy of serious discussion, in and of itself. But the problems
outlined above will not be alleviated by marginal increases in wealth. And
truly significant increases in earning power are not in the offing. We
cannot and should not expect to produce a middle class with an average
earning power of $150,000 per year.

What can be done is to find ways to reduce expenditures. We have established
that one area that cannot be cut is tuition. We are already operating our
yeshivos on shoestring budgets. General modesty in lifestyle is certainly to
be encouraged. But, to be fair to our middle class, the general lifestyle is
relatively modest. The cost of housing is determined by the market. Unless
we are to open up broad new neighborhoods in areas where housing costs
are demonstrably less, we face fairly stable fixed costs. One area of our
lifestyle must, however, undergo serious reevaluation. The cost of simchos
of all kinds must undergo sharp and significant downsizing.

The reasons are many. First, it is the one area of our lives where we can
realize significant savings without impinging on basic lifestyle. Second,
with the increased size of frum families, the total financial and psychic
burden is crushing both for those who make the simchos and for family and
friends who participate in them. Third, we can no longer close our eyes to the
opulent Jewish simchos that constitute such obvious conspicuous consumption
that they disgrace us all.

Bar mitzvas are a good place to start. There is no reason that bar mitzvas
should not be limited to close immediate family. For the most part, they
can be done at home. Where that is impossible, a small shul hall will do
just fine. For Kiddush in shul a lechayim is quite sufficient. Several
Chassidishe communities have mandated such takanos (ordinances). They work
beautifully. The entire cost is in the $1,000 range.

The entire constellation of simchos attendant to marrying off a child needs
serious restructuring. Tannayim should be done at home.

Formal parties, from Lechayim to Vort to actual Tannayim, constitute a huge
financial drain. They are purely an American invention. In pre-war Europe
they were unheard of

We must find ways to drastically cut the cost of the chasuna night
itself. Unless tough takanos are put in place, we are bound to continue the
present system. We invite many friends and relatives because we are obliged to
do so. They are obliged to come because they have no alternative. The invitors
would be happy to forgo the formal full seuda invitation because they are
unable to afford the cost. The invitees would be pleased to forgo attending
the entire seuda because the cost of the present and the baby sitter amount
easily to $100 for the evening. Both would be happier with an invitation to
simchas chassan v'kalla. Without formal and binding limitations, however,
sense of obligation mandates that the invitations be made and be accepted.

With burgeoning family size, bli ayin hara, invitations to even immediate
family can take on sizeable proportions. For some families, married first
and second cousins number in the hundreds. Once again without some formal
limitations, cutting costs without creating conflicts simply cannot be done.

The cost of Sheva Berachos needs to be sharply diminished. Catered meals on
four or five successive nights can run anywhere from $4,000 to $ 10,000 for
the week-excluding Shabbos. It would be quite sufficient to have the chassan
and kalla and parents for dinner and invite a small group of friends for
Birchas Hamazon.

Takanos with teeth could reduce expenditures enormously. Savings in the
magnitude of $20,000 and more per wedding event-i.e. Tannayim, Chasuna, Sheva
Berachos-are easily realizable. For families with eight to ten children the
total amount saved is staggering. Include the debt service on borrowed money
to fund these affairs, and the savings are even more impressive. Finally,
consider the psychic toll on parents who are saddled with debt. And the
human toll of friends and relatives who look bleary-eyed after a week of
mandatory attendance at Sheva Berachos. We really must rein ourselves in.

The need for takanos extends to seudos of bris mila, pidyon haben-indeed,
to all simchos that are part of the ordinary Jewish life cycle. Putting
this entire aspect of our lifestyle in order will, when added together,
have a significant impact on the quality of life for all of us. Modesty,
true tzenius, could become fashionable.

"BUT I REALLY CAN AFFORD IT"

Whenever the issue of takanos is raised we hear a hue and cry from some
quarters. Why should we have to restrict ourselves from more lavish simchos
if we can afford them? Let the rich make opulent simchos. And let the others
scale down in accordance with their abilities. Many people of substantial
means strongly support the institution of takanos; however, the argument
on part of the naysayers is stated so frequently and with such vehemence
that it needs rebuttal. The primary source of the rebuttal come from divrei
Chazal. The Talmud (Moed Katan 27a-b) relates:

Formerly, it was the practice to convey food to the house of mourning, the
rich in silver and gold baskets and the poor in baskets of willow twigs,
and the poor felt shamed; they [Chazal] instituted that all should convey
food in baskets of willow twigs to uphold the honor of the poor...

Formerly, it was the practice to bring out the rich for burial on a dargesh
i.e. an ornamental bed, and the poor in a plain box, and the poor felt shamed;
they [Chazal] instituted that all should be brought out in a plain box to
uphold the honor of the poor ... Formerly, the expense of taking the dead
out to burial fell harder on the next of kin than his death so that the dead
man's next of kin abandoned him and fled, until Rabban Gamliel came forward,
disregarded his own dignity, and was brought out to his own burial dressed
in simple flaxen clothes.

On a similar note, the Mishna (7aanis 26b) relates:

Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: "Israel bad no days as festive as the Fifteenth
of Av and Yom Kippur when the maidens of Jerusalem would go out dressed in
white garments that were borrowed so as not to embarrass one who had none."

As the Talmud relates, on these days shidduchim were made. And Rashi notes
that the wealthy maidens were forbidden to wear their own clothing lest
they embarrass girls from poor families who had no suitable garments of
their own. Takanos of this sort have a long and honored tradition in Jewish
life. The famed Vaad Learba Ho'arotzos established standards for simchos of
all kind. The well-to-do simply had to conform for the greater need of the
Klal. To allow for discretion leads us where we are today. The slope is far
too slippery. The pressure to conform to the more honored status is too great
for mortals to resist. It is interesting that today when we see an elaborate
non-Jewish funeral cortege, we react: "That's so goyish! " It was once very
Jewish. No longer. When non-Jews look at our elaborate weddings they say:
"That's so Jewish!" Enough. We need to embrace the "hatzne'a leches im Hashem
Elokecha," and declare it to be the norm for Jewish life.

ARE WE PREPARED TO LISTEN?

The issue of takanos for simchos has been on the agenda of the American
Torah community for many years.* Most recognize that they are an absolute
necessity. Why have they not been mandated? Some point the finger of blame
at the gedolei Torah for not sua sponte issuing a proclamation setting forth
the standards. I place the blame on ourselves. Until recently, I believe
we were not ready to listen. And our leaders for good and plenty reason did
not wish to issue decrees that would be honored mostly in the breach.

*See "Community Controls on Extravagance: Is It Time To Revive Them?"-JO,
June æ71.

But, why have we not been ready to listen? Why have the gedolim been so
reticent to take us on? My own sense is that they sense in us a cynicism
incompatible with the kind of emunas chachamim necessary for a true allegiance
to Torah. On matters that affect our lifestyle, too many of us we are
quick to question every perceived inconsistency that may appear to arise,
and charge hypocrisy to salve our own sense of guilt.

When I was a youngster, my father zöl constantly cautioned me against falling
prey to cynicism. On numerous occasions he told me that when our matriarch
Sarah banished Yishmael from the house of Avraham, her predicate for doing
so was that in her view Yishmael was the quintessential cynic. My father
interpreted the pasuk in Bereishis (21,9): "And Sarah saw Yishmael the son
of Hagar Hamitzris who was born to Avraham metzacheik'~--to mean that she
saw him scoffing. Sarah concluded that she could not raise her son Yitzchak
in an atmosphere where everything sacred was subject to daily cynicism. It
was destructive and antithetical to fundamental Torah values.

There is a famous Yiddish saying: Azoi vee es kristelt zich azol yiddilt
zich. Loosely translated, it means that Jews pick up quickly on non-Jewish
attitudes and traits. The cynicism of the non-Jewish world has spilled
over to the Torah world. And our generation has developed cynicism into a
fine art. Ours is a generation without heroes. We are far too ready to take
cheap shots at Torah leaders and to disregard their edicts. If they are on
occasion silent or their words are muted, it is because they realize that
we may well treat their pronouncements with disdain. The dictum of Chazal,
"Kesheim shemitzva lomar davar hanishma kach mitzva shelo lornar davar she'eino
nishma" (just as there is a mitzva to speak when one will be listened to so
is there a mitzva not speak when one's words will be disregarded) must be
taken into account. If we truly want direction from Gedolei Yisroel on the
subject of takanos, we will have to communicate to them that we are prepared
to put our scoffing aside and abide by their decision.

Purging ourselves of cynicism would do wonders for us all. Let me share a very
moving story with you: Reb Chaim Tchernovitzer, the author of the Sidduro
Shel Shabbos and the Be'er Mayim Chayirn, was one of the great Chassidic
masters. Reb Chaim's kedusha on Shabbos was beyond human comprehension. It was
said that from the time he left the mikva Erev Shabbos until the conclusion
of Shabbos, he stood a head taller than he was on a regular weekday.

In the city of Mosov lived a famous scoffer- "Hershel Mosover." He was
blessed with a fine mind and an acid tongue that he used to heap scorn on
all that was holy. He was most entertaining and whenever he would take up
residence in the marketplace, he would be quickly surrounded by idle folk
who would enjoy his repertoire of fun-making and cynicism. No one and no
subject was off limits to him. He was prepared, if the spirit moved him,
to poke fun at the greatest of the great and holiest of the holy.

Hershel Mosover was a businessman and his travels once brought him to
Tchernovitz. As was his custom, he went to the marketplace and before doing
business he was quickly surrounded by people seeking to enjoy themselves at the
expense of others. On that day, Reb Chaim set out to collect tzeddaka from the
businessmen in the marketplace. From afar Reb Chaim noticed Hershel Mosover
and decided to avoid him. Why present Hershel with yet another opportunity
to scoff at the Rav of the town? But Reb Chaim came into Hershel Mosover's
line of vision. Hershel called out gruffly, "Rebbe, kumt aher!" (Rebbe, come,
here!) Reb Chaim disregarded the call, but Hershel would have none of it.
"Rebbe kunit aher!"

Seeking to avoid a scene, Reb Chaim walked over to him. "Rebbe, what are you
doing here?" Reb Chaim answered softly that he was out collecting money to
redeem a family that had been thrown into prison by the poretz (nobleman)
of the town for non-payment of rent for a long period of time. The family
was starving and freezing in the cold, wet dungeon. Hershel Mosover asked,
'Rebbe, how much money do you need?" Reb Chaim responded, "I need fifteen
hundred Guilden."

Hershel opened his purse and emptied it of its contents-fifteen hundred
Guilden, a fortune of money. Everyone was waiting for Hershel Mosover to snatch
the money back and make a joke out of the whole matter. A minute passed in
silence. And then another. Finally, Reb Chaim turned to Hershel and said,
"Hershel, how should I bless you?-May you henceforth taste the true flavor
of Shabbos!"

Hershel returned home to Mosov penniless. At first he was ashamed to admit to
his wife and children that he had squandered his fortune. Ultimately the story
came out. The anger of his family knew no bounds, but what were they to do?
The deed was done. Hershel returned to his place of honor in the marketplace of
Mosov and resorted to his old ways. Things continued normally until Thursday
afternoon. Hershel began feeling unwell. He went home and tried to lie down
but rest eluded him. Shortly, he was up and about dancing and clapping
'Shabbos, Shabbos, Shabbos." Friday his ecstasy increased. He had to be
peeled off the wall. Shabbos itself was beyond relief He could find no rest,
dancing and singing, "Shabbos, Shabbos, Shabbos." And then Shabbos passed.

Sunday morning, the old Hershel was back to himself. But when Thursday arrived,
the scenario of the past week repeated itself. Several weeks followed this
sequence. His family then learned from him of Reb Chaim's beracha. They
decided that they would have to accompany their father to Tchernovitz and
seek the recission of the beracha so that their father could exist as a
normal human being.

When they came to Tchernovitz and made their request, Reb Chaim told them that
it was not possible to rescind the beracha, but he could make it possible
for Hershel to withstand the kedusha of Shabbos kodesh: "Leave him with me
for a while and you will see that he will be fine."

Hershel stayed on with Reb Chaim and became his disciple. When he eventually
returned to Mosov, he was no longer the same Hershel. So lofty had he grown
in avodas Hashem that Chassidim who could not make the trip to Tchernovitz
would travel to the Rebbe Reb Hershel of Mosov to experience the kedusha of
Shabbos that one felt in the presence of Reb Chaim Tchernovitzer.

For one moment in his life, a scoffer put cynicism aside. He was able to
act with the compassion of a Yid, and became an ish kadosh. If we can put
aside the cynical attitude that so pervades society and listen with open
ears and even more open hearts, we can realize real change in our lives. If
we insist on placing our own imprimatur on the takanos-if we first ask,
"Ma kasuv bo?'-we shall never receive the direction we so sorely need.

The time for action and acceptance has come. We must-if we are to survive, both
spiritually and physically reorder our lives. Takanos are not a panacea. But
they are an important start. And we must begin somewhere.


Go to top.


*********************


[ Distributed to the Avodah mailing list, digested version.                   ]
[ To post: mail to avodah@aishdas.org                                         ]
[ For back issues: mail "get avodah-digest vXX.nYYY" to majordomo@aishdas.org ]
[ or, the archive can be found at http://www.aishdas.org/avodah/              ]
[ For general requests: mail the word "help" to majordomo@aishdas.org         ]

< Previous Next >